It’s the end of a decade.
It feels surreal as I type those words, knowing I’ve lived less than three, and feel as though these past 10 years have been the most transforming years of my life; in more ways than one.
This could be my naivety speaking, but my first twenty plus years of life were likely the easiest. Though some of my personal experiences were traumatic, and undoubtedly life changing, these were also the years that others have enjoyed, experienced, survived through, and inevitably pine for, wishing that they could relive them all over again.
But this was just a taste of Life. An hors-d’oeuvres of what was to come.
I think this is a feeling many of us have experienced, thinking of having become a parent in the last decade. There’s an awakening- an awareness that you are no longer living for you alone. Becoming a parent is transformational, there’s no denying that.
Each New Year often brings people to explore setting new resolutions and goals. It’s a time where many reflect over the past year and decide to be different, or to do things differently, in some way or other; at least for the next 365 days. Whether or not you are one of those peoples who set such goals, aspirations, reformations or resolutions, you will inevitably stumble upon these changes without invitation, whether big or small.
Life happens. Without your permission or your desire.
However, 2020 should welcome us to reevaluate how we’ve been living, loving and most of all parenting.
“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.” – Laurie Buchanan.
Don’t fret. You’re not alone. If you’ve already considered the steps to take to better yourself as a person and a parent, not only will you feel better you will be better.
When you take care of yourself, you will be able to take care of others.
I’m not talking about taking care of yourself in a get-a-pedicure-once-a-month type of deal (Though if that’s your routine, then I’m not going to discourage you from continuing that type of self-care), but I am talking about taking care of yourself in spiritual healthcare; inner health as you grow and as you age.
For some reason the word ‘age’ has a tendency to feel daunting; to feel intimidating; as if we should fear the very crows-feet that “surprisingly” spring up after a year of nighttime feedings.
Aging is nothing to be afraid of. It should be embraced, because with age comes growth. Physically, emotionally and spiritually, just as this past decade has likely stripped away your past, gobbled up that old self, and spit out a new you for a purpose. It has brought you down in order to build you up (Cheesy, but so true).
Self-care is about reaching in and growing as an individual. In more ways than just your physical development, it’s vital to review how you’ve chosen to live, how you’ve chosen to parent in the past decade, in order to become the mother and woman you’ve always dreamt of being. When you allow yourself to look at your life from another viewpoint, you will see and feel things you may not have before. At least that’s what I found.
As a parent, perhaps you’ve turned out more stern than you had intended? Perhaps you rely on that 65” screen more than you’d like to admit? Perhaps you’ve felt more overwhelmed and unable to ‘balance’, like your fellow mom-friends whom seem to have it ‘all together’?
If you truly feel as though you’re not the mother you wish you were, or know you could be, there may be something or someone in the way. It’s ok to face what you’ve been ignoring the past few years, whether that is your environment, the people you surround yourself with or the jobs you take on. You’re in control of your life. Don’t ever forget that.
As we enter this new decade it’s important to reflect on how we’ve been choosing to live and most importantly how we’ve perceived life.
For many individuals, those eye wrinkles can be fixed by a quick 10-minute derma appointment. It’s relatively inexpensive and socially acceptable. However, a cheaper way to fix them is by changing your opinion on your external being by finding the acceptance of that beautiful, natural, physical change.
Again, not to discourage those who prefer to undergo minor or large physical augmentations. They are no less than those who choose not to. But I offer an example of how if we change our perspectives, our entire lives will change.
Personally speaking, the past decade has been incredibly trying. Life has just been wearing me down. And when I take the time to think more about it, I have come to realize that it is because I have allowed it to.
Practicing gratitude can be difficult when life consistently throws you curve balls; however, it’s immensely important to remind yourself of the beauty that surrounds each and every one of us. No matter our circumstances. No matter the amount of sagging skin and wrinkles.
It’s a new year. It’s a new decade. I believe no matter how grateful we are in life, there is always room to love more; to appreciate more; to grow more.
Growth does not have an end-point. So why not enjoy the journey? No matter where it leads us, when we can change our perspectives on what life throws at us, when we accept it as it comes, we are healthier people. Healthier parents.
Words by Julian Jamie
MOTHER MUSE 