Ego, as many believe it, describes the perception that an individual is better than their surroundings. Ego can be defined as the materialistic, self-centered and selfish part of a person.
Ego, despite what many believe, is essentially the part of the mind that identifies with the surface issues not the rooted problems. Ego is the person in which we view ourselves as, not the soul that we are in our essence. Many times, we rarely connect with our true essence until we bravely face vulnerability and honesty at its purest state. This can be awakened through motherhood.
Through motherhood, we often share genuine moments of joy even if we do not realize the loss of Ego in the exact moment. With pure joy, there is no Ego.
As Eckhart Tolle simply explains, “Love does not want or fear anything.” When we become mothers we experience an immense amount of compassion and love for our children, that we naturally learn how to ignore our Ego.
Along with nurturing our children, we’re essentially nurturing and growing ourselves. We have this beautiful opportunity to love an individual to our fullest extent. We often feel an outpour of love that we may have never experienced- one that, at times, teaches the parent more than the child.
Children are shameless. They are taught to fear and taught to perceive instances more complex. We are not born with these perceptions. The more we love and nurture them, the less likely they will fear and grow in their own Ego.
Without fear there is love. It’s simple. Life should be simple and should be lived freely with good intent. Whether learned through peers, parenting or public, children are not born with egotistical thoughts and manners. Children grow into people who consider Ego to be the most important part of them. As many of us unwittingly do.
Ego will sneak up in many moments of our lives. With the ability to compare our talents, our exterior looks and environments in which we choose to live, Ego may tell you that you’re ‘not good enough’. It may even tell us that we’re superior to those around us.
Motherhood is awakening to the acceptance of how alike we truly are. None worse nor better than the rest. The fears we face in motherhood are often all Ego driven. But always remember: we’re never alone. We’ve all felt them. The sorrows we feel are often the same to those who have experienced similar situations, as well.
Though we all go through unique circumstances, the Ego is identical to one another and feeds off the same food of fear, insecurity and self-doubt.
In order to surrender to our true self, we must learn to identify when Ego arises. This may come more naturally to some; however, with practice it will be easier in time.
Sometimes when we welcome motherhood, it forces us to face our fears sooner than we’d like. We may even be already living with Ego’s mind in full force, and motherhood is the thing that pulls off our blindfold. Motherhood may be the thing that finally awakens us.
Motherhood is humbling. It brings purpose, sincerity and authenticity in almost everything we do for and with our children. If we put more focus on living in the moment with our children, we will teach them how to do the same as they grow.
Our choices are made with our children’s lives in mind. Whether it’s the choice to enroll them in a dance class or feed them their favourite snack (‘healthy’ or not), we have the choice every moment to either listen to Ego or to listen to our heart. “Heart” could also be defined as “instinct”; and we all know how important that is when motherhood begins.
When it comes time to let go of Ego and embrace our true, authentic decisions during motherhood, know it’s not just for the child. It’s for our own wellbeing, too.
Without Ego we learn to live lighter, freer and with more intent.
These realizations may look big to some and small to others. Our relationship with Ego will not change overnight, and we may not see it as clearly in the initial beginnings. Everyone’s experience with Ego is different. But, it can better if we continue to accept it, and then face it, then set it aside.
Sometimes it’s all about the perception. With a little help from our children, they will likely be able to shed more light on the moments we need to ignore Ego the most.
Words by Julian Jamie
Photographed by Ashley Klassen
Editorial for Mother Muse Print No.10 available here