Exclusive interview with Mother Muse
What’s the full name and age of your children?
I have a daughter who turned 2 in February, her name is Bobby Jo. And a son who was born last December, he’s 5 months now and his name is Mozes Wolf. The age difference between them is 23 months.
Could you describe yourself in one sentence?
Always myself, I’m pretty clear in my opinions and always follow my own feelings.
What was your life like before motherhood?
I think the best way of describing my life before kids was searching. Always looking for other possibilities, options, places to visit, things to do. So restless. Meeting my husband and forming a family together filled all of the restless parts in me and made me feel the happiest I’ve ever been. As if this is what life was all about for me all along.
What do you do for a living?
I’m a stay at home mom, something I love doing on most days but is also quite a challenge at times. It does get easier now, with 2 kids in 2 years. There are days where I feel like all I did was keeping the kids happy and outnumbering myself but I’m getting better and better in finding balance in all of it.
What has been the biggest learning curve as a mother?
Honestly? Everything. There is no room for selfishness once you become a mother. And I found that pretty hard the first year after my daughter was born. The fact that you can’t just say nope I don’t feel like it today, the whole parenting thing. I was in a constant conflict with myself between wanting to do everything myself and don’t ask for help, and wanting and needing some time and space for myself. I found that way more easy after my son, our second child was born, luckily. Having kids also made me a lot more vulnerable and I’m getting better at asking for help when I need it instead of trying to fix everything myself all the time.
You can prepare yourself for the practical part of becoming a mother, getting all of the newborn essentials, fixing the cutest nursery, reading all the books about everything motherhood related. But the emotional part can be so completely overwhelming, and nothing can prepare you for all of those feelings. That for me was and is the biggest learning curve. I’m responsible for 2 little persons now, and they’re the most important part of me.
Describe the word woman in your own words:
Strongest creature ever.
How did motherhood impact your career?
It didn’t actually, when I was pregnant with our daughter we decided that I would stay at home. It felt good to just go for it, to focus on the kids completely. And I’m so happy that we’re in a position where we can afford that. Even though the days can be quite long being with them all the time, it also is the most rewarding job I ever had and will have. They are so little for such a short time, that’s what I’m keeping in mind on the hard days. To soak it all in, because I know there will be a point when I will miss this stage so much. Maybe not the lack of sleep, the crying or the tantrums. But the tiny noises and voices, their little hands and feet crawling all over me, the little smiles and sloppy kisses and ending the days with small arms hugging me.
Did you experience postpartum depression?
I didn’t experience postpartum depression. I didn’t feel really happy the first months after our daughter, our first baby, was born but I know postpartum depression is way more than what I was experiencing. It was mostly because I had a hard time adjusting to this new life as a mother, I was 24 and the first of my friends to have a baby so I didn’t really knew a lot of other mothers back then. That and being really tired resulted into feeling quite lonely and isolated at times. Which slowly got better after a few months, once I started to embrace all of those feelings and talking to other mothers. I was expecting to feel really, really happy the moment our daughter was born but it had to grow on me, motherhood. And now it did, completely.
The second time around I felt really good, way more confident and I’ve never felt more in love than watching our daughter become a big sister to our son. Maybe because I ‘know’ how it works now, this whole parenting situation. My daughter, our first born thought me everything about what kind of mother I am. We’re all just doing what we think is best for our own children, and as long as I trust on my own capabilities as the best mother for my children I can’t go wrong.
Who are your three favourite Instagram muses to follow?
You feel most beautiful when?
When I slept in until around 7 (never knew 7 would be sleeping in at some point). Being with my husband and kids, outside wearing long flowy dresses, our daughter happy and my baby wrapped up in an Artipoppe. And jewellery, always jewellery. Lot’s of it.
When you get a quiet moment what do you like to do most?
I love reading. I already did as a kid and it is one of my most favourite things to do. I’m currently reading Just Kids by Patti Smith. Which I absolutely love. I also love making necklaces. I made myself two necklaces of my children’s birthstones and always wear them.
Who is your own Mother Muse?
My own mother. My both parents in one. She was and is always there for me and I honestly wouldn’t know what I would do without her. She taught me what unconditional love is by creating the safest place to grow up, while giving me all the freedom I needed to walk my own path in life.
Can you give a quote about Mother Muse coffee books?
The most beautiful magazine, I love the variety of women in it, the focus on real, modern motherhood and the photography is always phenomenal.
Mother Muse Romy Boomsma, Photographer Latoya J.L. van der Meeren