I have been able to slowly shake off doubt as motherhood grows on me. This came in many different ways.
At first, I believed it was important to embrace my more authentic self for my child’s sake. I knew that I had to let go of some insecurity to represent the woman I knew I wanted to become, in order for my daughter to see the kind of woman she could be, too.
This of course does not mean ridding all insecurities; some make us while others can break us. I knew that there were specific doubts holding me back from being my true self. I knew that some relationships I held onto were formed from values I did not believe in and personality traits that were not authentically mine. I am still learning, as I am still young.
As humans, other individuals will constantly inspire us. That’s how we become. We will see how others live and want to emulate their beauty and happiness as we see fit. With that said, we must try and never succumb to other’s pressure. We must stay true to ourselves for our own well-being as well as our child’s.
It’s when we begin to compromise our purpose and our intentions for the satisfaction of others. I am not encouraging you to live an incredibly selfish life; to demand having your needs met when it will truly hurt others or affect the lives of those you love. I am allowing you to reflect on how you live day-to-day, and if you are living mainly for yourself or solely for others.
Let that sink in for a second. But, don’t spiral. We’re only human. We all make choices and mistakes. Each choice, little or big, has a reaction. We learn from each one and we continue to live and love.
When I fell pregnant, I promised myself to let go of these preconceived ideas of what I knew were not genuine. We all have them. As I believe we continue to grow, to change and to evolve as our life continues on.
Motherhood just sped this process up for me.
It not only was a choice for me (to let go of these ideas) it was an organic development. It was certain situations when I knew I needed something specific for my mind and body during my pregnancy. I did not hesitate to have (and ask to have) my needs met while carrying my child; I knew that I needed to take care of not only myself but my baby, too.
I believe having the responsibility to carry a human, to protect them and assist in their growth, allows the ability to shamelessly admit when your needs must be met. Whether that comes in the form of asking for a seat on the streetcar, finding the nearest washroom or demanding a container of ice cream.
Despite how these requests may affect others outside of your body, you are now responsible for the one inside of yours.
It allows you to perceive the world differently. It allows you to put the needs of your own and your child’s before everyone else’s.
How beautiful is that? Perhaps before pregnancy and/or motherhood you were already aware of the importance of self-love and self-respect at some degree; however, I personally was not at my full potential before motherhood and I am comfortably admitting so.
Those 38 weeks were preparing me for the protection I would once feel when my child arrived. It was and still is the biggest responsibility I’ve yet to feel. Not only am I one of the individuals she feels safest with, but I am also showing her first-hand how to treat others along with herself.
It’s a daily intention to put effort into pushing my anxieties, my doubts and my insecurities aside while raising my children. I hope you try and do this, as well. Perhaps you’ve been doing this without the realization; we all tend to organically grow without notice, especially through motherhood.
As long as we have good intentions, our children will see that. Our children, from an incredibly early age, pick up on our energy and motives. As long as we intend to give ourselves as much care and love as possible, they will likely do the same in their lifetime.
As complicated as this idea may initially seem, it is quite simple. Live simply- that’s what we strive for here at Mother Muse. Let’s rid ourselves of the negative, of the self-doubt and concern. Embrace our strength our encouragement and love.
We are not only mothers. We are teachers and role models. We can choose to be the mother we always dreamt of being, or we can simply be ourselves- our true, authentic selves.
This may not come over night. It may not even come within the 9 months of pregnancy. But, I can assure you that if you continue to work at pushing these negative beliefs aside you will slowly see who you’ve always meant to be if you’re not that person already.
I believe in myself as I believe in you.
Words by Mother Muse Julian Jamie