The Mother Muse Nourish campaigns are very close to my heart. I felt isolated in my feeding journey with my daughter Adaline Rose because I was not able to breastfeed as long as I had wanted to.
Having been in the modelling industry since I was young, I struggled with anorexia for a very long time. Finding out I was pregnant was a blessing because although I recovered from my eating disorder, the experience still haunts me to this day. While growing my daughter I already felt like a mother and my number one priority was to make sure she was healthy and that my body was strong for her.
I was extremely blessed to have a healthy and easy pregnancy with my daughter and I will never take that for granted.
I had a natural birth with my daughter but it was traumatic and I had a lot of blood loss. After birthing her my heartbeat became irregular and I tore badly and could barely hold my daughter. The combination of recovering from years of anorexia, experiencing a large amount of blood loss during the birth, and being anemic resulted in struggling with my milk supply. To some people this may come off as an excuse and I believe this is why campaigns like this one are extremely important. For the women who do not feel ready to share their story in the fear of judgment, I will stand for us.
My daughter was born 8 pounds and within the first week dropped down to 5 pounds. I was not able to produce enough milk for my daughter. I took my doctor’s advice which was to eat a highly nourished diet and I tried my absolute best to produce milk. I remember so clearly sitting on my couch pumping each breast for an hour and not even reaching 50ml of milk. I felt like I was letting my daughter down which led to a spiral of dark postpartum depression. It was really tough 3 months…I remember one of the worst days was when I spent an entire day pumping for her and made 50ml and it spilt everywhere in my kitchen.
I was broken.
After having experienced this challenge with my first pregnancy, when my husband and I found out we were pregnant with our second I felt a strength within my soul to not put myself down on my feeding journey. I vowed that I would allow my body to do its absolute best without judging myself or allowing others opinions to control me. I have two deeply connected, healthy and smart little ones, both of whom were partially breastfed up until 3 months and introduced to formula after. From this experience, I learned it is so important for us to support each other in our feeding journeys.
I have so much respect for women who breastfeed. I have so much respect for women who formula feed. I have so much respect for women who pump or use a milk donor.
At the end of the day how we nourish our babies should not be controversial. We should not feel shamed by ourselves or others. Because there is so much pressure on motherhood, we must build a community together, as having a support system during these times is crucial.
I hope you enjoy this campaign.
In love, we unite